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Welcome to the deep, dark & crazy world that is my imagination
Energy has burst :( 
14th-Jun-2005 10:01 pm
Grave Lying
bleh, getting told to update this. Not really in the mood or whatever. :(

What's happened since last post? Lemme see... well I have both Nip/Tuck clips now *nods* Tis goodness. Tis Mari. Poor girl, first one in pain (and have to add ewness to that), 2nd one crying :( She really is a terrific actress. I wants her talent *nods*

Um so *thinks* it was an old Cold Case last night. First Scotty episode (tells u I was still working out who was who cause that was the 6th eppie of season 1) and he said he had no girl! :o *kicks* Hate him. Lost all my faith in men over him, over Glenn on BB (no, I'm not religiously watching this year, I just see the sucky things), and even the guys at my work suck. Can never think for themselves. U know the production manager came out to me this morning to lecture me over the stupid journal deliveries, and it's not like I didn't do as he asked on Friday so there was no need for him to tell me that. And again I had to tell the courier when he came to bring all the boxes of books up to our level (by hand) and have him be majorly pissed with me. It's not just one courier, it's a different one each time, all with the same reaction cause we don't have a lift and everything has to be on our level and the stupid managing director didn't even think of that despite my boss telling him before we moved *kicks* So sick of my work :(

I now have everyone just about wanting to set me up with a guy. Not just mum with Michael (best man from Joey & Stevie's wedding), but now her friend Lorraine says she's going to get her son Craig to find me someone in the Navy. She was lecturing me over staying at home all the time, saying if I don't go out then I'm gonna be stuck here looking after my sick mum. If only she knew, that's too close to the bone. :( I'm caught between a rock and a hard place, I don't have much choice, and it's not like I'm not aware how shitty my life is carving out to be. I've tried and failed on numerous occasions, and yeah just relinquished to command over the last few years. I don't care anymore, and I think I gave up on myself a long time ago. I don't even try anymore, just plod along waiting for life to be over and enjoying the little joys it brings me sometimes. Is it worth being upset over? Cause I don't really know, I spent enough time crying last night over the fact that I haven't got anyone and probably never will, and the fact everyone can make it sound so simple when telling me to waste my time on things that bore me to get to that point - it's not like I'm a total recluse. I do go out, but nothing ever happens then does it? And of course I have this whole conversation problem, this "I find it creepy if someone hits on me & I don't want them to" problem. I suck at relationships :( Always known it.

Anyway, my day did get better mostly. Again cause I'm nice to people, occasionally they'll reciprocate. Michael (from the bank) told me the bridge climb was $155, but he just looked it up in a brochure (which he's going to give me tomorrow) and told me to check out the website - he wasn't very helpful on the discount front like he'd said *sigh* And I wrote 10 lines of fic today. Can't get back into it. :( Everything just sounds bad, and I don't know where I'm going. *Needs a plan* Okay going to read Elly's update now.



You Are a Little Scary

A Little Scary!

You've got a nice edge to you. Use it.


Comments 
14th-Jun-2005 12:54 pm (UTC)
Don't listen to me yo! all I can say is people are way too obsessed with romantic relationships as it is. You don't need a man to make you happy. You're wonderful and beautiful and all that. We love you as you are. :( Don't be sad boo.
14th-Jun-2005 12:57 pm (UTC)
I should clarify that the don't listen to me was to do with updating your journal. But er feel free to ignore me anyway :( What do I know? One more thing before I go:
14th-Jun-2005 07:06 pm (UTC) - Come here! Hugs
I am so sorry you had a bad day and I'm so sorry I missed you this morning! I agree with Mel, who says you need a guy? If you want someone, that's different, but even then just relax. There is someone out there who will love you for who you are and he'll come along at the right time. You are such a great gal and I know someone will come along who appreciates you!
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