February 26th, 2005

Grave Lying

From someone with the attention span of a goldfish.

I can't write. I was given ideas at work and I can't seem to get them out of me. I succeeded in getting a quarter page done but, argh, I don't know where I'm going atm. Having one of those "I just want to give up" moments but I don't think neither other ppl nor myself is going to let me.

So I had a few lucky breaks at work today. I feel quite proud of myself that I actually managed to reset the phone system without screwing things up too badly (hey, I only disconnected one guy, and he's been a right royal pain-in-the-ass meanie to me for months now so he damn well deserved it).

So I should really be in bed cause I'm meant to be shopping for Costume material tomorrow, but I'm so darn lazy I haven't even got out the pattern. Eek. No wonder I'm so unorganised nowadays. Let's see if I can get myself into gear tomorrow.

Notice I have really short paragraphs tonight? See, no wonder I can't write. Must be a head block up there somewhere :S Oh oh I beat Leo at checkers :D I can be proud of that, I usually lose. haha. Um, guess there were a few people incredibly important and close to me who had not so very happy nights. *hugz* to those if they read this. More than likely not. I made an extra special effort to be there for them tonight and not, I dunno, as hopeless as I have been lately. Invested in a bit of courage I guess. I like to think I'm helpful, even if my advice isn't warranted or they think it's completely useless. And yeah, ok, I get philisophical but that's just the way I am. At least I don't feel like such a screw-up tonight.

So with the darling turtle the only one updating of late, I've stolen some of her tests. Results below:


HASH(0x89da2fc)
The Oracle


What was your job in a past life? (LOTS of results & Anime Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

haha, see see! I'm good at giving advice. ;) Nah, u see, goes to show I really am philosophical. :D


In your past life, you were a beggar
Begging for money on the street and scammering
through the gabage for what little scraps of
food you could get, life was tough. At least
now you don't take anything for granted


Who were you in your past life?
brought to you by Quizilla

Oh well, I'll just go begging on the streets with Zarina then ;) At least we're not alone. :D hehe.


You are an Old Soul!
You are an old soul writer--neither a pantser (who
writes by the seat of her pants) nor a plotter
(who plots out a book before writing it).
You're a person who values serendipity and
spontaneity, but also realizes the benefit of
having an idea where a story is going before
you write it. You may make up an outline or
have a plan for a book, and write something
totally different, but that's OK. You're not
comfortable writing without having at least
some idea of where the story is going, but you
also like the freedom to change the story from
what you originally planned. You're a born
writer who realizes the value of serendipity.


What Kind of a Writer Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

True true true. I couldn't believe how true this was. I'm was laughing and blushing the whole way through reading it. And u guys know how true it is with the amount of fretting I do over my stories ;)



you are a romance novel


what type of book are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Odd since I don't read romance novels :S But all those characteristics are 100% true.


Water Witch
You are a water witch. Beautiful and intuitive, you
draw your power from the water. You can be
tranquil and terrible at one and the same time
and might be described as "moody."
You appreciate literature and may be a
poet/writer. Graceful and powerful as the water
itself, the rest of us envy your ability to
love and be loved by others.


What kind of 'witch' are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Um, okay, I'm only agreeing to moody because of the state I've been in lately. I guess one of the great things about being Saggi is the fact that there's some kind of astrological gift given to us that the sun in always shining. And with that in mind, the fact that we get low (and I get real low cause of that whole emotional Pisces in my moon sign), it is without a doubt that we can always bounce back really well from it. As u can see by the sadness in previous updates, I have been running around as cheerful as anyone today. I hope no-one takes it for ignorance or whatever cause its not, its just great to be able to let sleeping dogs lie and move on with your life. Start each day fresh if u can, and you'll be the better for it. And just an additional point of the above quiz, yeah I like the poet/writer thing! :D

Well that's it from me. Another update that's not so long and not quite so interesting but, eh, I'm not making any future promises. When the brain's a-working again I might give u more insight ;)
  • Current Music
    "Wait" - Sarah McLachlan
Grave Lying

Tell me what u wanna do...

Um, ok, not quite sure where to start. I think I've been all over the shop today. Not for any specific reason, just gut reaction I think to things that have happened. Had a sudden occurence of remebering what I'd dreamt last night. I actually replayed the whole train incident from a few days ago, but it wasn't the guy this time, it was two girls, and much much closer. Weird thing was I know it played over in my dream about two or three times, and each time I turned my head away instead of watching to see if there was any gruesome details. Don't know if that was making up for my, I dunno, lack of compassion or whatever u want to call it in real life. That whole morbid fascination thing... it actually led me to take a not so friendly test only minutes ago which I'm not posting because, frankly, it sickens me what it said. I don't want to believe it's true of myself, although I know it could be. Kinda like coming face to face with the dark place. I don't wanna go there. So I'm gonna keep living in denial. Or run from it. Or whatever it is I'm doing to avoid it.

So in one of my ramblings in a previous update I was going on about trying to please people. That wasn't specifically to do with that day, on the contrary I was just talking in general. But I had another falling out with Hue on the phone when she called earlier for information I'd already given her. Again she couldn't understand the concept of me being busy until mid-april - the fact that I do have a life outside them. I know we don't do a hell of a lot together, but I did warn them all back in January this was going to happen. The majority of things are to do with my cousin's wedding. But there's also holidays, and Jenny's murder mystery party. There must be a conspiracy with my friends, cause Jenny called as well and left a message on the answering machine for me, but I'm not calling her back till tomorrow. I have a feeling she's gone out with Hue tonight and I'm not stirring up more trouble. It's not worth it. I know Jenny understands, but the others seem to think I'm BSing all the time and I can't handle that. I'm fed up with it all, with the fact that I have to appease their insecurities or whatever. It's not fair on me, and again Hue drove me to tears. I really don't like fighting with my friends, not with anyone I care about. I feel like such a crybaby this week. I know I was strongest yesterday, but I guess that concern for everyone kinda tugs on u after a while.

So the majority of the day I was trying to appease my mother. I did all the washing for her, and the dishes. I chauffered my brother to the hairdressers so he could get his hair done (and it looks so much better than the job the ex-girlfriend gave him). I was actually left with 20 mins to go through Spotlight to find stuff for my costume. I had no time to buy anything (so my mother was annoyed I didn't get the felt for her, although I did go look for it. At least I remembered! *rolls eyes*), only to match up colours which the most I could get in one colour was Emerald, but there was no zip for it *sob* So unhelpful. And I hate the fact they always have perfect, beautiful colours in the lining but not the material. It's very annoying. And the worst thing was they had no customers at the counters, when usually u have to wait hours to be served! *sigh* So now I have to try again tomorrow. I'm getting threatened with getting up early for it. Really I should be in bed now.

I made a little headway with the Bianca fic, although not enough for my liking. I'm thinking this might only be a short, 4 page update the way things are going. Think it's coming up on 3 now, did about a page and a half today. That's a pretty decent amount I think. I think my biggest problem is I've given this part so much less consideration than the others, it's making it a little difficult in that respect. And, um, well I've continued on my research so I have to say that at least I have been doing something. It's given me a few ideas, but again far off. I just need to be a little more patient I think.

So I'm sure I've said enough for a night. *hugz* to my loveable buddies. And here are the quizzlies:

You are Beth.  You like pink and can quote Jay and Silent Bob like no other.
You are Beth. You like pink and can quote Jay and
Silent Bob like no other.


What Name Should You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla

Actually, I quite like that name! *grin* And JAy & Silent Bob *snigger* Well can I say that I quote Silent Bob the most? ie. My mouth is always shut ;)


Fuck
Fuck the penguin.


Which Swear Word Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Ah, so, I um get a word I very rarely use?? It could all be true. Ask me in 10 years ;) And hehe I LOVE the last comment. Of course I'm screwed in the head - my psychology test proved me schizo in my first update! ;)


Seahorse
Seahorse


?? Which Creature Of The Sea Are You??
brought to you by Quizilla

Now, every word of that is true. Especially now (I'm more distant than ever ;) ) And can I say I LOVE Seahorsies?? :D


Secretive
Dark Fairy
You're the dark fairy. Beautiful, sexy and... barly
there. Very few peopel know you exist because
you're so secretive. You live in dark alleys,
but no one ever sees you.


What type of Fairy are you? Girls only! Pics
brought to you by Quizilla

Oh so it wasn't Zarina being stealthy? She really couldn't see me? LOL. Be interesting if that was true ;)


Fair beast
You are a Fair Beast, which includes unicorns and
pegasus, satyrs and fawns. You are pure and
love to help people. You are also fractious and
dislike crowded places where there are many
people.


What magical creature are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Aww. Aww. I've always associated myself with deer. And, again, unicorns & pegasus all over my room ;) Um personality things, also true :D Although I would say definately "dislike" not "hate" crowded places. I can cope :D Just prefer things to be empty so I can roam ;)


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Um, ok, not quite sure where to start. I think I've been all over the shop today. Not for any specific reason, just gut reaction I think to things that have happened. Had a sudden occurence of remebering what I'd dreamt last night. I actually replayed the whole train incident from a few days ago, but it wasn't the guy this time, it was two girls, and much much closer. Weird thing was I know it played over in my dream about two or three times, and each time I turned my head away instead of watching to see if there was any gruesome details. Don't know if that was making up for my, I dunno, lack of compassion or whatever u want to call it in real life. That whole morbid fascination thing... it actually led me to take a not so friendly test only minutes ago which I'm not posting because, frankly, it sickens me what it said. I don't want to believe it's true of myself, although I know it could be. Kinda like coming face to face with the dark place. I don't wanna go there. So I'm gonna keep living in denial. Or run from it. Or whatever it is I'm doing to avoid it.

So in one of my ramblings in a previous update I was going on about trying to please people. That wasn't specifically to do with that day, on the contrary I was just talking in general. But I had another falling out with Hue on the phone when she called earlier for information I'd already given her. Again she couldn't understand the concept of me being busy until mid-april - the fact that I do have a life outside them. I know we don't do a hell of a lot together, but I did warn them all back in January this was going to happen. The majority of things are to do with my cousin's wedding. But there's also holidays, and Jenny's murder mystery party. There must be a conspiracy with my friends, cause Jenny called as well and left a message on the answering machine for me, but I'm not calling her back till tomorrow. I have a feeling she's gone out with Hue tonight and I'm not stirring up more trouble. It's not worth it. I know Jenny understands, but the others seem to think I'm BSing all the time and I can't handle that. I'm fed up with it all, with the fact that I have to appease their insecurities or whatever. It's not fair on me, and again Hue drove me to tears. I really don't like fighting with my friends, not with anyone I care about. I feel like such a crybaby this week. I know I was strongest yesterday, but I guess that concern for everyone kinda tugs on u after a while.

So the majority of the day I was trying to appease my mother. I did all the washing for her, and the dishes. I chauffered my brother to the hairdressers so he could get his hair done (and it looks so much better than the job the ex-girlfriend gave him). I was actually left with 20 mins to go through Spotlight to find stuff for my costume. I had no time to buy anything (so my mother was annoyed I didn't get the felt for her, although I did go look for it. At least I remembered! *rolls eyes*), only to match up colours which the most I could get in one colour was Emerald, but there was no zip for it *sob* So unhelpful. And I hate the fact they always have perfect, beautiful colours in the lining but not the material. It's very annoying. And the worst thing was they had no customers at the counters, when usually u have to wait hours to be served! *sigh* So now I have to try again tomorrow. I'm getting threatened with getting up early for it. Really I should be in bed now.

I made a little headway with the Bianca fic, although not enough for my liking. I'm thinking this might only be a short, 4 page update the way things are going. Think it's coming up on 3 now, did about a page and a half today. That's a pretty decent amount I think. I think my biggest problem is I've given this part so much less consideration than the others, it's making it a little difficult in that respect. And, um, well I've continued on my research so I have to say that at least I have been doing something. It's given me a few ideas, but again far off. I just need to be a little more patient I think.

So I'm sure I've said enough for a night. *hugz* to my loveable buddies. And here are the quizzlies:

<img src="http://images.quizilla.com/E/EvePandora/1050729511_name_beth.jpg" border="0" alt="You are Beth. You like pink and can quote Jay and Silent Bob like no other."><br>You are Beth. You like pink and can quote Jay and<br>Silent Bob like no other.
<br><br><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/EvePandora/quizzes/What%20Name%20Should%20You%20Have%3F/"> <font size="-1">What Name Should You Have?</font></a><BR> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font>

Actually, I quite like that name! *grin* And JAy & Silent Bob *snigger* Well can I say that I quote Silent Bob the most? ie. My mouth is always shut ;)


<img src="http://images.quizilla.com/S/SleeplessApparition111/1062274930_cturesFuck.GIF" border="0" alt="Fuck"><br>Fuck the penguin.
<br><br><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/SleeplessApparition111/quizzes/Which%20Swear%20Word%20Are%20You%3F/"> <font size="-1">Which Swear Word Are You?</font></a><BR> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font>

Ah, so, I um get a word I very rarely use?? It could all be true. Ask me in 10 years ;) And hehe I LOVE the last comment. Of course I'm screwed in the head - my psychology test proved me schizo in my first update! ;)


<img src="http://images.quizilla.com/T/truly-dippy/1061308713_pseahorse2.jpg" border="0" alt="Seahorse"><br>Seahorse
<br><br><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/truly-dippy/quizzes/%3F%3F%20Which%20Creature%20Of%20The%20Sea%20Are%20You%3F%3F/"> <font size="-1">?? Which Creature Of The Sea Are You??</font></a><BR> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font>

Now, every word of that is true. Especially now (I'm more distant than ever ;) ) And can I say I LOVE Seahorsies?? :D


<img src="http://images.quizilla.com/D/Dreamer..../1092083658_arkgoddess.jpg" border="0" alt="Secretive"><br>Dark Fairy
You're the dark fairy. Beautiful, sexy and... barly<br>there. Very few peopel know you exist because<br>you're so secretive. You live in dark alleys,<br>but no one ever sees you.
<br><br><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/Dreamer..../quizzes/What%20type%20of%20Fairy%20are%20you%3F%20Girls%20only!%20Pics/"> <font size="-1">What type of Fairy are you? Girls only! Pics</font></a><BR> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font>

Oh so it wasn't Zarina being stealthy? She really couldn't see me? LOL. Be interesting if that was true ;)


<img src="http://images.quizilla.com/Y/yoursoulismine/1069041350_fairbeast.jpg" border="0" alt="Fair beast"><br>You are a Fair Beast, which includes unicorns and<br>pegasus, satyrs and fawns. You are pure and<br>love to help people. You are also fractious and<br>dislike crowded places where there are many<br>people.
<br><br><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/yoursoulismine/quizzes/What%20magical%20creature%20are%20you%3F/"> <font size="-1">What magical creature are you?</font></a><BR> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font>

Aww. Aww. I've always associated myself with deer. And, again, unicorns & pegasus all over my room ;) Um personality things, also true :D Although I would say definately "dislike" not "hate" crowded places. I can cope :D Just prefer things to be empty so I can roam ;)


<img src="http://images.quizilla.com/P/Paradox/1041562529_hooba_pic2.jpg" border="0" alt="Hoobastank"Up and Gone""><br>You are "Up and Gone"
<br><br><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/Paradox/quizzes/Which%20Hoobastank%20Song%20Are%20You%3F/"> <font size="-1">Which Hoobastank Song Are You?</font></a><BR> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font>

Either I don't know this song, or don't pay attention to it. :S But I thought I'd do a Hoobastank song quiz since I've been Hoobing all day for my Bianca fic (that's her soundtrack ;) )

I think that's enough from me. :D Hope you're all having a good day. *wave* Perhaps I should consider bed... nah! hehe. I'm sure it's not far off :D
  • Current Music
    "Unaffected" - Hoobastank