August 4th, 2005

Grave Lying

Why am I still coming down?

Yesterday was a bad day. Not specifically for me, everyone else was getting yelled at mostly, or doing the yelling. At one stage it was directed at me but that just pissed me off and funnily enough we were all like "doesn't matter, Julie is so going to get them back when Melly comes over" Unfortunately the constant bad vibes started to affect me and I was in a very down state by the time I reached home. I don't know why it's becoming so hard to come out of it. The past two days Melly has showered me with gifts - Wy updates, actual pressies in the mail (today) that perked me up and... I dunno, I go shopping and get annoyed at them for not having what I want, for not having the size I want, for not being as good as they should have been. I came home with two skirts and a belt (I was tempted to just leave everything behind, but I convinced myself the belt would make it work *sigh* Was desperate for something).

I've been downloading a whole heap of instrumentals and gothic tunes in the hope of finding something good. The one I'm listening to is probably the least crappiest. :( Even the Evanescence tune failed to overly impress. I want some new stuff from them! Getting so impatient now.

I've been overly getting nightmares lately. Thankfully it wasn't on behalf of B like the other night, but last night was awfully bloody and scary with people I love being kidnapped and things :( Hmm thinking I'm sounding depressing much. Can I say how sweet Mel is? :D Love what she sent. She's such a god-send to me, just like the rest of my musketeers *hugz*

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    "Demon" - London After Midnight