• Mood: discontent
• Music: "Quasimodo" - Lifehouse

pain = creation

Well good to know I can still cry. As much as I tried to stop it last night it still happened. Things I valued brought down, personal issues brought up, and I could see the end of it all. And what did I do to make myself feel better? Took some morbid quizzes, one of which I'm not gonna post cause things are never as bad as they used to be and I'm never going there again, not if I can help it, so it won't help to plague others with the thoughts in my head. Mind you after shedding the odd tear to Sarah McLachlan today I came to realise something that was happening as well last night, that I was monitoring things to be creatively inspirational. Look at it from both aspects, artists usually do their best works out of depression, and in life - well life is born from pain. So I have been writing today, funnily enough something just happens to coincide with things I made up which was great to find out. And for me who happens to be looking back at this and going "huh?" it's the celebration of 2024.



Your dark side is centered around Fear. There is
too many feelings are burning inside your chest
making your heart beats so hard, you feel fear
crawling under your skin, running with your
blood, possesing your soul. All you want is a
warm shoulder to lean on, a quite voice tells
you everything is going to be ok, so you
finally feel secure, safe and loved like you
always wanted to be. You will find what you
want when your feelings start to see the light.


What is the center of your dark core? (updated)
brought to you by Quizilla

*nods* Hence reliance on obsessionism and the constant needing of things I'm lacking :(



You connect with pain mentally, your mind analyizes
every thing around you, your brain never stops
even when you are sleeping, that is why you
usually have headaches, another problem you
have which is insomnia, you can't sleep easily,
you have to think at least one hour before you
sleep, you are responsible and creative, you
don't trust people easily that is why you like
to do every thing by yourself, the best cure
for you is to calm down and slow down things in
your life, you don't have to carry the whole
world on your shoulders.


How do you connect with Pain? (updated)
brought to you by Quizilla

True true true. I suffer from insomnia lots *nods* Usually takes me a good hour or so to get to sleep. Not particularly cause I'm analysing over the day, sometimes I'm getting creative in the mind (bad timing I know), sometimes it's just blank and frustrating that it won't go to sleep. I do get the occasional headache, in fact I had that plus almost nosebleeds today which was fun (just a little blood, no onrushing for a change).



GREEN


??Which colour of Death is yours??
brought to you by Quizilla

Hmm powers of the mind. Interesting. And green :D



You are dead on the inside. There's nothing there
for you, feeling alone and like your not a part
of the living world you once knew or never
knew, the emptiness and numbness hurts to keep
inside, but through tears and sacrifice, you
still do.


What sort of 'gothic' person are you? (pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

Can't explain this one... pretty much self-explanatory compared to other results *nods*



Bloody Nightmare


What sort of Nightmare are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

*snigger* Yup, that reminds me of my bloodied bodies and bathtubs full of blood dream the other night. Actually, come to think of it, I do have a lot of bloody dreams... not all nightmares though


You could be right and I'll be real
Honesty won't be a pain you'll have to feel
'Cause i don't need your approval to find my worth
I've been trapped inside of my own mind
Afraid to open my eyes cause of what I'd find
And I don't want to live like this anymore

There goes my pain
There goes my chains
Did you see them falling
There goes this feeling it has no meaning
There goes the world off of my shoulders
There goes the world off of my back
There it goes

Does it scare you that I can be something different than you
Would it make you feel more comfortable if I wasn't
You can't control me
And you can't take away from me who I am

There goes my pain
There goes my chains
Did you see them fall
And there goes this feeling that has no meaning
There goes the world off of my shoulders
There goes the world off of my back

You can't change me
You can't break me

There goes the world off of my shoulders
There goes the world off of my back

Have you ever felt like your only comfort was your cage
You're not alone I have felt the same as you
Have you felt like your secrets give you away
You're not alone I have been there too
Everyone is looking and everyone is laughing
Everyone feels the same
Everybody wants to feel okay
Everybody wants to
Everybody wants to feel

There goes my pain
There goes my chains
Did you see them fall
And there goes this feeling that has no meaning
There goes the world off of my shoulders
There goes the world off of my back

'Cause I don't want it, I don't want it
You can't change me you can't break me
There goes the world off of my shoulders
There goes the world off of my back
There it goes

"Quasimodo" - Lifehouse