Julie (decadentdream) wrote,
Julie
decadentdream

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If I seem to be confused, I didn't mean to be with you

This song is just gonna get overplayed now :( Tis "Joey" by Concrete Blonde, which was on my 90s DVD, and now Mel sent me the song it hasn't stopped. Reminds me of Wy/B. Tis being so frequently overplayed that that, coupled with the fact I don't really want to leave anymore, is making me feel like I want to cry.

I've done bugger all today because all I wanted to do was sleep, knowing I'm not gonna get any tonight. I'm going to a Diesel concert in the city, won't be home till like midnight (won't see my friends either *sob*), and have to be up by 5am tomorrow morning. Why do I like torturing myself? It's not like we can even win the competition, we found out the catch on Friday :( But I got dressed up and took photos cause the girls wanted to see my top :$ and um... yeah. I feel really annoyed I haven't done anything, but the reason for that was cause I just keep thinking about leaving and I don't wanna start something I can't finish. So I'm wasting time rambling here instead.

I sent Mari a question. Well THE question. I only had one for her. And I only did so because Mel decided to email them about why she'd suddenly been dropped from In Justice without explanation. I don't know why they would do that to her. She deserves so much more.

I finished another chapter of Unaffected last night/early this morning. It was a real push to get there, because every word I wrote hurt, even if it was meaningless. I really don't like making her turn her back on Wyatt. But I know, it's the story, the way it goes. It's the habit of being torn between the writer and the reader (who wants to slap her for picking the wrong guy hehe). But it's good to see that characters, like people, can make mistakes (in some people's eyes), can do stupid things. I know everything is leading somewhere. I know there's going to be a lot of retribution where certain other people will cheer. I know what's coming up and I so want everyone to see it, but it requires me writing it. It was actually a little funny that people were so shocked by what happened in the one I just finished, because to me it just seems obvious - mostly because it's been running around in my head for months, beacuse that was the thing that culminated from every aspect I threw in to explain what has happened, what will happen, and what Bianca is like.

So, what else? I'm missing Idol tonight :( Tipping shall be fun if I ever remember *rolls eyes* Can't believe that last week. Um... yeah can't think of anything else. So want to write the aftermath of my fic but I'm not sure what I'm doing or where I'm going yet. So, trying to put myself off, I'm sitting here waiting to read things I most likely never will see, at least not for a while (hoping I get a response from Mari *sigh* So impatient am I). And I'm leaving soon. :'(
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