Julie (decadentdream) wrote,
Julie
decadentdream

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I looked into your eyes and felt so alone

Um... I don't really know what to say. I don't really have time to write some big elaborate review on what's been happening. I've been to 2 free concerts at Star City Casino - Eskimo Joe on Friday and Diesel on Sunday. They were both really good. Earned sore feet both nights. At least driving I got home half an hour earlier on Sunday than I did on Friday.

Work has been frustrating and boring. Quite the usual lately. I have more interest in cruising the net to see if my net buddies have left anything for me to read than doing my actual work. I'd rather be outside writing my fic than having to drag myself back to work and endure more sleepiness from the lack of sleep I'm getting. I still can't sleep properly. It's annoying.

Felt overwhelmingly guilty today cause Chris Luder (aka the wiggle) got kicked from Idol in the first round :( Dunno how the hell that happened, he was rated in the betting 2nd to win. But I felt guilty beause I didn't vote for him, because I wasn't home to watch the show, because by the time I finished the results show started and Andrew G said we had 5 mins to place a vote, and I voted for Lee cause I thought he was in more trouble. I thought wrong. And now one of my favourites is gone :( It's so wrong, an injustice, because his friend got in, he got kicked.

I've been wrestling with my emotions all day, never staying consistent. I don't want to end up going where I was a few weeks ago. It's so hard to hold on. So many times yesterday and today I've wanted to cry but, as always, have held it back. I almost cried writing my fic because I poured so much of it out into what Bianca was thinking. I can't help associating with her, after all the things I've built around her, knowing we have so much in common. Sometimes I wish the life I was writing was mine because, to an extent, she has been able to break free. Because, even though she doesn't realise it at the moment, there's people there who love her.

Anyway, trying to use my little "therapy" to deal with things, I did 3 Bianca AVs. They're not the best, but they're very much how I'm feeling.


01.Image hosted by Photobucket.com 02.Image hosted by Photobucket.com
03.Image hosted by Photobucket.com

All AVs of the beautiful Marisol Nichols who plays Bianca on Charmed


"15 FEET OF SNOW" - DIESEL
These days
The sun ain't shinin' in my room
At night
I've been feelin' angry at the moon
Maybe I've been losin' my mind
But the things you hide so deep in your heart
Well I know I can find

I'll go wherever your love light shows
Through fifteen feet of snow
If that's where I have to go, oh-oh-hoh

I looked
Into your eyes and felt so alone
Is that you
The lights are on but nobody's home, hoh-hoh
Maybe I've been losin' my mind
But the things you hide so deep in your heart
Well I know I can find

I'll go wherever your love light shows
Through fifteen feet of snow
If that's where I have to go
Just to feel your glow
Hoh-oh-hoh

Hoh...
Hoh-oh-hoh-hoh

And I'll go wherever your love light shows
Through fifteen feet of snow
If that's where I have to go
Just to feel your glow
Hoh-oh-hoh

I'll go (go)
Wherever your love light shows (shows)
Through fifteen feet of snow (snow)
Oh-oh-oh
Yeah I'll go (go)
Wherever your love light shows (shows)
Through fifteen feet of snow (snow)
Oh-oh-oh
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