Julie (decadentdream) wrote,

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I can't recall myself how I went down - did I get shot or shoot myself?

Um I thought I better start this before I go quiz crazy. So I've done a few and here are the results. For the sombre mood of today:

your a hippy, you disaprove war and believe that
everything happens for a reason. god damn
people like you, if it wasnt for you then we
would own the world, damn road blocking,
protesting, tree hugging hippies.

What kind of killer are you?
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Hippy? Funny that. Never been called that before. Hmm. Okay, so I thought I'd do some Charmed ones (and can I say I'm disappointed none of them feature Chris & Wyatt? I think I'm going to make one and hassle all my friends so they can have one and I might just throw Bianca in for good measure ;) hehe)

Congratulations! You are LEO.
You are LEO. Trustworthy, honest and kind, you are
truly a great person. Be careful you aren't
taken advantage of!

*+*+* wHiCh ChArMeD cHaRaCtEr ArE yOu? *+*+*
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Your Piper. You have had alot happen to you and
it's not always good, yet you still take on
more. You accept responsibility of new roles
(Oldest, Mom). You fight for what you belive in
and do what you knows right and what is best.
You do what ever it takes to beat evil and save
an innocent If it means to give your own life
for another or defeat time. Your there. you
have major style and kickass! Everyone wants to
be you or with you.

Which CHARMED Character are you?
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You are Piper! She is a caring middle sister who
is the mediator of the group. She can freeze
things and blow them up. She loves to cook but
is a bit of a neat freak, can you say obsessive
compulsive? You were thrown into the role of
oldest when Prue died but adjusted to the role
well and are the rock that supports the charmed

Which Charmed Character are You?
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You are Piper. You feel obligated to be in charge.
And that can sometimes get you in trouble. But
being protective also has its pluses. Everyone
looks up to you and loves you.

What Charmed character are you?
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Well I gotta say that that's hilarious that I racked up Piper in 3 out of 4 (and, note, I happen to be Chris' parents LOL). So firstly I'll say I suck at cooking (I burn things) so, um, that makes me feel very non-Piperish, but as far as all the above goes I think that's right. :D

beautiful winged angel
You have an innocent love. You haven't been through
it and you are a twindge of a hopeless romantic
in you. You are very sweet and kind. Boys are
probably dreaming to get you as thier girl!^_^

*UPDATED* What kind of love are you? ( COOL anime pics)
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Um yep that's right. But guys are dreaming about me as their girl? Hmm kinda laughable. Don't see them beating down my door. Anywhoo... I did some X-MEn quizzlies too.


Which X-Men Character Are You??
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You are Beast!

You are brilliant and extremely clever. You can
handle almost any problem swiftly and
efficiently. You are devoted to philosophy and
are always up for a good discussion.
Sometimes, though, your anger gets the best of
you and you upset those whom you care about.

Which X-Men character are you most like?
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What Female X-Men Character are You?
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Ah, so, not quite all the same characters. :S Maybe if u mesh all the characteristics together u might get me. :D

Okay so lemme see, how did the day go today? Um, well, there was a bit of carry-over from last night. Lotsa tears, bad thoughts (I spent a few hours locked in the bad place), I got to the point where I was actually considering a self-imposed exile from my friends because I didn't want to hurt them anymore. Didn't actually get out of my funk until after 3pm so, yeah, I was there for a long while. Even the security guard at the bank thought I was sick or something because I looked like a mess for the majority of the day. Until today I've never actually cried on the train on the way to work. Coming home, yes after something severly bad had happened, but never going there. And the 2nd lot of tearage came once "Forgive Me" popped onto my computer at work. I felt those words today. It kills me to upset my friends, and even more so last night cause I knew what I said would go over bad, and I did it anyway.

They say depression is good for the creative process. Well, strangely enough, I managed to funnel some of those not so happy thoughts into my Bianca fic and come up with a few things. Wrote some notes, as I should, because these things are still later on. I wrote about 3/4 of a page today at work but I'm still pretty lost on this section of things. I'm not sure how to approach it, or how to make it go for 6 pages. Something needs to happen, but it really hasn't dawned on me yet what that something is. Is there an inspiration help line? *cries for help*

So I rediscovered a thought today, or a belief of mine that was long since shunned. The fact that everything happens for a reason - good or bad it does. It often leads to something you wouldn't give up for the world. I have this feeling that this Bianca fic is a little piece of salvation for me. I get the idea that it's going to help me work through some stuff, and yes even that morbid prediction I have might become a complete write-off because perhaps this is my opportunity to right that issue. No-one knows what's in store that's locked away in my little imagination, but believe me if it is right, if it does work, then what I have said will be complete BS and things will be better. I hope so anyway. It scares me to know I may have to deal with an extended life, but I guess I'll just take the punches as they come. If life has more blessings in store for me as it has given me over the past few months, then I will gladly accept them.

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