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Welcome to the deep, dark & crazy world that is my imagination
Day 2, 3, 4 & 5 of costume sabbatical 
14th-Mar-2005 07:46 pm
Grave Lying
*cries* Just lost my whole entry. *big sigh* ok starting over. Just announced - Mel and I are going to hunt for blood with all these evil net things happening to us tonight. Grr! So, yet again, we start with Melly's quizzes:

Fallen
;Fallen Angel;-You are a fallen angel. Once an
angel of light you crossed the line into the
dark. Most likely for one other than yourself.
As a fallen angel, you can often be cold though
your insides are burning with emotion. Noing
that feeling for someone was what got you here
in the first place and you are not willing to
go there again. You do not dwell on your
emotions though they are there and probably
very stong. Your beautiful in an untouchable
way. You are an independant spirit becuase of
your past and people often try and harness that
beauty though never able to succeed. You have a
higher understanding of the world and the
people in it. You are probably very empathetic
to others emotions though not to your own. You
wish with all your heart to return to the
light. Though your outside is rough and changed
through time Your heart remains ever heavenly.
You most likely hate pity and cant feel sorry
for yourself.


good......dark`~Angelz~`light......evil
brought to you by Quizilla

Ah see I wasn't born into darkness, it came to me. ;) So I think I've worked out what this "coldness" thing is all about. In light of recent situations I realise where it applies to me. You see whenever there is a disastorous situation, or a crisis, or something of that variety of badness, I become everyone's rock. So where most people break down and cry or get really upset, I'm the one who's keeping a level-head, who's analysing the situation, who's seeing reasoning behind things and seeing them for what they are, who's working out a plan or activating one, who's being serious and resolute. I suppose to a lot of people I appear to be cold and uncaring when I'm like that. If people want to voice it they usually tell me I'm weird or give me strange looks. But those who know me I think are more probably at a loss to understand me, as they know I'm not totally devoid of feeling. I mean, how many times have I said I cried over something or someone? Perhaps I care too much, and that's the problem. I care a lot about those I'm close to, and I put a lot of trust into those I know. And yes, this quiz is right, that's what got me here in the first place. Look outside the box, it's not as straightforward as you think it is, it's not "this poor guy broke your heart" (hey, I even reason my way out a breakup, wouldn't I be good to date? *rolls eyes*) Yes I do take on the burden of other people's emotions, I have a great deal of empathy, and yes I don't want to go back to the dark place where I was trapped for so long. Little by little I am crawling back into the light, and I want to stay there. Now the rest of that about beauty... blah blah blah... you'll have to go ask someone else. I don't know if others see me as beautiful and untouchable, or if they want to harness it. Really, go on, ask, cause I am truly mystified.







Take the What Type of Friend are
You?
quiz, and visit mutedfaith.com.


hehe, I'm a good friend. *Feels proud* Well actually I didn't doubt it. Can u have some money? Sure, as long as you pay me back. Or I'll hunt u down and kill u! *evil laugh*







find your element
at mutedfaith.com.


LOL *blush* Okay um really you do only have to ask my friends to know exactly how true this is. Those poor girls coming to visit me in June *shakes head* So lemme see u have the willingness to do what is right (check) the painfully logical (check) the "I've made my mind up & you can't change it" (check), yeah I see I'm going to be a royal pain-in-the-butt when they get here. *nods*




You Are a Dreaming Soul





Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you awy from this world
So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time
You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all...
But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult

You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you.
Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses.
Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others.
Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life.

Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul




I'm a dreaming soul. Now who's surprised *checks for hands* No-one? Good. hehe. Yep so okay I live in my head, what can I say I like it there ;) Everything is nice and rosy and not horrible and everything works out for the best like life should and um *blush* okay so I'm gonna say I have a ton of passion too. One of the other quizzes told me so. I'm just gonna agree and leave it at that ;) hehe.

Ok so backtracking to Friday now. Let me think... ok so I had to go visit the Orthodontist that morning. I woke up to find that my lip was catching when I was eating breakfast - my front teeth had seperated. I was thinking this was not going to look good when I saw him. But he expected it, that's why he wanted me straight down. So we had a little chat about that, I have to see him on Thursday for the bottom plate (do I really need it? *cries*). Anyway admist all that and buying tapes (for Cold Casse ;) ) my mum decided to come home really upset because she got herself all worked up about maybe having cancer again, and also cause they were going to stick her on switch all day and she didn't want to do it. So I picked her up, we went back into town and did some more shopping, I took her to see a friend of hers who worked down there so she got to talk to someone who had been around the first time (I only just realised today I can't believe I've known some of these people for almost 20 years!). So, um, yeah I think that helped her out a bit. We went & saw the doctor too who booked her into the surgeon on Monday. Also made a trip to the hairdresser in the afternoon to get a trim (which *ahem* ended up being another cut - bad hair) and well my desire to have a change led to the hairdresser deciding to give me Bianca hair. I had to hold back the laughter when I saw what she decided. So we were going with all-over caramel and blonde foils (which, um, was more just the touchup of the roots). Ultimately it just looks like we all-overed what my hair normally looks like - a kind of dark blonde with lighter blonde bits in it :S Doesn't matter, she blow-dried it straight and told me it would last for the wedding. Friday night I presume I just got really lazy cause I didn't do anything, although I did manage to drag an update for the IDBT RPG out of me. Mel decided to get it going again so, u know, I thought it would be fun & quick. I distinctly remember not touching my Bianca fic and being annoyed at myself which was another reason I did the RPG, so I felt at least I'd done some Bianca. And again I didn't touch my costume stuff. I guess I crashed around midnight.

Saturday. Woke up earlyish and felt headspinny. Still early so, u know, I decide I'll do the sensible thing that normally works and go back to bed. 2 hours later, I still feel headspinny. So despite my light-headedness I get up, go about the normal routine of getting ready before the wedding. Mum is freaking because I'm wearing white, because I'm wearing two lots of white that aren't exactly the same, because she has so much to do and not enough time, etc. etc. Typical mum flipping out. I wanted her to fix my hair because although it survived sleep, it did not survive the shower. It was starting to go curly again. My mum didn't end up having time to do anything, so I had to go with the hope it looked okay as it was. So we drove firstly to the Grooms place (my wonderful brother remembered to pack the camera in my car cause I didn't think to pick it up) and the biggest disaster there was the Best Man's flower kept falling off his lapel. Then we went down to Narellan. I was feeling queasy all the way, tried to ignore it by singing along to radio tunes. Got out, took photos of the boys arriving, stood outside the church like forever. I kept getting the dirt/gravel in my heels so I bribed my dad to switch the digital for the video camera in my car and bring it back. Mum told me to go in and mind the seat which, by this point, I thought was a great idea cause I knew I had to keep sitting down. That's the only thing that seems to ease the light-headedness. So I went inside, took a seat near the front, kept an eye out for my parents, waved and said hello to a few relatives, totally cheery. Had some technical difficulties once the wedding started - I pushed the thing on the camera the wrong way. Not to mention I had the camera facing the wrong way and was insisting it was a different one when my dad handed it to me. Um, I was just thinking I was being blonde. Looking back, I probably had lost it. I was not well. So we had the ceremony, and it was wonderful, and there were a lot of things to make you think about, and all the while I'm attempting to video constructively and ignore the light-headedness which was becoming overwhelmingly unbelievable by a quarter of the way through it. And there was lots of standing and sitting, standing and sitting. Now u remember I said I needed to sit to keep this thing at bay? Well we got to the point where we had to stand again. For a while. To pray. And I had my hands firmly gripping the back of the pew in front of me with my head lowered about as much as I could make possible while I tried to keep myself upright. I spent more time trying to fight my head than concentrating on the prayer and seconds before he told us we could be seated my legs buckled and I collapsed back onto the pew while throwing the camera at my mother. I then lent onto the pew in front of me, something I had been fighting to do all day cause I thought it would look rude, and preceeded to cry. I guess the majority of the people around me would have presumed I was just terribly teary over the wedding. I managed to resolve myself by the time we got outside, but the light-headedness and nausea were full force now, plus a mind-blowing headache to add to it. So I pleaded with my mother to let me go back to the car, and then I sat there crying for a while because whatever was wrong with me would not go away. I then had to drive the both of us home in the state I was in which was fun, my dad following us in his car. I have to admit half the time I found myself speeding just to get there quicker. It was a long trip and I just needed my bed before it got any worse. I had an hour by the time I got home, and my mother wasn't about to allow me to not go to the reception (on a boat, of all things, I told her I'd probably spend half the night throwing up overboard... memories of the Great Barrier Reef trip prominent in my head). So I crashed and tried to make myself sleep. It was enough to get rid of the nausea, nothing else. So I got dragged to the boat feeling minorly better and was seated with my cousins to babysit me. Thankfully we were near the backdoors so with my already married cousin's husband also prominent to seasickness he insisted they stay open for us. I have to say I'm glad I went, I enjoyed myself, and the breeze that we got from that section was beautiful and enough to make me feel better. Once we had reception I texted Mel about when I was going to get home and the likelihood that I would not be on because of how ill I felt, only to find she had something similar. It was a crazy coincidence. So I stuck to my word and went straight to bed as soon as we got home, getting Russ to notify El that I wasn't coming on. And then I slept on & off for a good 12 hours.

Sunday. The day my mother was finally convinced I was sick. Took a few dashes to the toilet to convince her of that. I suspect she thought I had been faking the majority of Saturday so I could stay home & chat to my net friends. So, lots of fluids and bed rest would be the order of the day, right? Well I'd been in bed for 12 hours, and the fact I felt more mobile than Saturday I was not staying there, so I decided the most restful thing was to come onto the net and talk to my buddies. All day. At the same time I was insisting I finish the chapter of my Bianca fic. I so badly wanted to finish it in under a week, especially since I was home, but as you can see life indeed got in the way. So I wasn't going to let it be over a week. I knuckled down and wrote probably 5 pages or something of the like. I ended up with a good 9 pages in total (a long chapter which I don't think I'll ever break the record for), so that went up. Then after 13 hours of writing Bianca I was on such a roll I updated 2 RPGs as well. So that was Sunday.

Today. *sigh* Okay well firstly mum dragged me out of bed at 11am thinking I was going to sleep the day away. I had a very peaceful sleep and didn't even realise it was that late. So I took my time having breafast and getting ready while chatting to Julie and El. And, yes, I'm still sick. Blah. So in the meantime work calls as well freaking out because mum and I aren't there and they don't know what to do *snigger* See they shouldn't make us do everything and actually learn something themselves ;) And I filled them in that I was sick which they couldn't believe. Of all the times to get sick and it's during my holidays. I haven't been sick since I met my net buddies last September! And I had other memories of last time I was sick because I pulled out my costume pattern FINALLY and remembered last time I was cutting out the pieces I had been sneezing all over the place. Yeah, this time it's different. You know what I couldn't believe? How many pieces there were - how HUGE some of them were, and um that it took me like 2-3 hours to cut all that tissue paper up *blush* So we move onto the cutting of materials tomorrow (too dark now, and hey gotta catch up on more writing ;) ) I took mum to the surgeon too. The running up & down stairs and moving the car was enough physical exertion for me for the day. He's booked mum in for a Stereotactical Core Biopsy next week. We're gonna see what's going on with that tissue. He's confused by what's going on too. He thinks at worst it's the early stages of Breast Cancer so sounds like everything will be fine. She'll get the results after Easter, so me and Russ will be back from Surfers by then so it'll be good.

Okay so um I'm gonna go off and watch Cold Case now. More Marisol :D Last one though. They're taking that off like they took Charmed from us *cries* Robbing me of Marisol & Drew, I dunno. They've no idea when they're putting Charmed back on, but they're replacing Cold Case with repeats of Cold Case which is so incredibly stupid cause they haven't even finished the first season yet! Argh! So that's enough from me, and after Cold Case I might get onto the last bit of writing I need to do - another Chapter for El. :D
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